Tuesday, August 2, 2011

施/受

十五六歲時,我在LA遇上了傳說中的「25-cent Lady」。顧名思義,25-cent Lady當然向我拿25 cents,而我亦給了她25 cents。當時,她並未闖出這名堂,我亦當然不知道她的「底細」,還沾沾自喜的覺得自己愛心爆膨。「施」這行為,真的充滿正能量。很多人認為這叫「好心」。而某程度上,這行為其實也是自私的。只是這件事可以令多過一方的人受惠,所以人人也很鼓勵。

人始終是膚淺的,捐獻了丁點錢就以為自己是大慈善家。說穿了,其實都是想滿足一下當救世主的慾望,又或者因為我們其實都不太想看到世上有太多悲劇而情願犧牲一些東西去買回一個「這世界可以不用這麼悲哀」的希望。當然,我說得也較極端,也未免分析得太嚴重。如果這行為可以互利互惠,也可令人開心,其實是件很好的事。但如果接受的人不是和你一樣的想,而又當你得不到你一廂情願去期待的感激,是會有一點失落的。對,感激就是我們想要的回報。

電視上經常播一些節目去呼籲大眾市民幫助一些貧困人仕,而每次也會邀請一些名人明星去當地拍攝這些短片。女的大多會熱淚凝眶的說:「他們令我體會到我們其實很幸福!」而貧困人仕大多亦會呆呆的看著明星們,不知為何他們那麼激動。其實,有專家探討過,無論你是很醜或很窮,這絕對不會影響你的開心指數,因為人是會適應和習慣的。貧窮人由出世開始,就是這樣生活,幫助他們當然沒有問題,但絕對用不著哭哭啼啼吧?千萬不要用自己心裡的尺去量度其他人的生活!

數年前讀過一篇頗有趣的文章,至今也牢牢的記住。裡面講述一個非洲土著「幸運」地到歐洲讀書的感受。他現在學懂了英文,並回想起第一次到達歐洲某機場的經歷,說:「我下了飛機,然後見到每個人也急促地走來就去,當時很驚慌,心想:『為甚麼他們要這麼趕?是否有大風雨來臨?』後來才發現這新地方每一個人也是這樣。在歐洲的生活令他透不過氣,不明白為何每人每分鐘也是這麼的趕,究竟趕甚麼?在非洲,是沒有人用錶的,時間不是用錶來衡量的。到歐洲留學對他來說,絕不是一件幸運的事。他很嚮往在非洲的生活,覺得那樣才是正確的生活態度。

我似乎有點離題。。。

9 comments:

  1. the 25cents lady has disappeared!! naively think she finally had enough 25cents to buy a house and lived happy ever after.... but that's very unlikely even if she is able to get 50 quarters a day, 7 days a week for 20 years. ;(((

    btw, u didn't went off topic, u just needed to wrap it up. lol

    i understand what u mean, like we think we need to help the poor and they are in bad shape, but u are only using ur own standards to measure.

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  2. i have been donating money to World Vision for those child sponsorship program for quite a while now. i never thot i am doing them favor or anything. in some way i just wanna feel better for myself, like i am making a difference, or doing things that count.

    what u guys said above kinda makes me think - are those charity things really necessary?
    some kids are just born in poor countries. and maybe they have been feeling fine about that all the time.

    is it better to help turn a developing country into a developed one?
    well i guess we can't have a conclusion on that. but it's not a bad thing to provide others with a better living standard, like in terms of hygiene or something.
    and i wouldn't stop my input to the child sponsorship program for the moment. (and my little Vietnamese girl is cute. :))

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  3. Ozzy I understand what you were trying to say, I mean, like 100%. I think it's not a bad thing to provide healthcare in order to rid them of life-threatening diseases, a better environment for them in terms of better hygiene, to donate to organizations who help end human trafficking/slavery, violence on animals / weak ones in our society... just anything that ends any type of suffering. But like I said, this is MY version of "a better world", although I don't think anyone would refuse to get help when they suffer from physical and psychological pains.

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  4. i dunno any news about her, but i saw a fb fan page of this 25 cent lady some time ago… scared the hell out of me… btw u got gd eyes… lol i was really trying to wrap things up w/ a nice conclusion, turns out to be something a bit off topic (i think)… but hell i was trying so hard to think of things to write for this topic… ran out of “stock”…

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  5. And FYI, I was also donating to Unicef and SPCA for some years... I guess it's time to get back to that.

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  6. 突然有感。施/受⋯⋯看畢你這篇文章,不知25 cents lady是否真的有迫切需要。然後又想起自已曾經給予乞討的人金錢。反思,是令自已好一點,也希望盡力幫助他們。

    又突然,看到報導,當年的一位中學老師命不久矣,為續命錢財散盡。
    突然,心情很複雜。

    施,有時候,是必須的。

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  7. joe, how much can we do? 有時候連自己都搞唔掂,有邊個幫你?

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  8. do if u feel like... or if u can~ i think this is why there are non-profit org. that help the poor and needy ;p

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  9. joe - the 25 cent lady asked for a quarter (25 cents) every where! she's not crippled or anything, but when people talk about her, it seems that everyone actually knows her or knows of her... so ... go figure...

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